What is guilt: According to the Webster dictionary.
1. It is the fact of having done something wrong and especially something that is punishable by law. It further states
2. "The state of one who has done something wrong: blameworthiness
3. Feeling of responsibility for wrongdoing
Looking at the first definition, "Fact of doing something wrong''
I am not here to address severe crimes and how they should be punished, but to look at domestic abuse and its victim and how the perpetrator will use his tactics to manipulate his victim.
He will carry out his action to the point of making the individual own the feeling of feeling guilty. For example; he will create a scenario and when it goes wrong, he turns around and blame you for his hiccups.
If the person is not aware of the behavior, they will give in to the point where it starts to affects them mentally.
Also, they start to believe they deserved to be punish.
#Guilt from a psychological perspective#
According to Psychologist, the definition of guilt is: It is an emotion of the human being they feel after committing an act that negatively impacts others.
"It is the psychological response humans have once they have recognized their responsibility for a harmful or problematic occurrence''.
Guilt is an emotion tied with anxiety and often in response to one''
Reference: https://study.com>academy>the-p...
#Types of guilt
According to Jaspers: There are four types of guilt, that the guilt question is more than a question put to us by others , it is one we put to ourselves. (Jaspers 2000:22)
Criminal
Political
Moral
Metaphysical, an idea, doctrine, or posited reality outside of human perception.
#Sigmund Freud definition of guilt: reaction as a moral factor: "a sense of guilt which is finding satisfaction in the illness and refuses to give up the punishment of suffering''
I.E: This phrase reflects a psychological concept where a person experiences guilt and unconsciously finds a certain satisfaction in their own suffering or illness. This mindset is complex and paradoxical:
1. Sense of Guilt: The individual feels guilty, perhaps about something they've done, failed to do, or even for just being who they are. This guilt is deep-seated and may not always be fully conscious. This behavior can be found in people who experience domestic abuse.
2. Finding Satisfaction in Illness: This guilt is so profound that the person derives a kind of perverse satisfaction or justification for it by being ill or suffering. The illness or suffering becomes a way to "pay" for the guilt. It's as if the illness is deserved punishment, so they feel somewhat relieved or justified in their guilt by suffering.
3. Refuses to Give Up the Punishment of Suffering: Because the person sees their suffering as a necessary punishment for their guilt, they resist giving it up. The suffering, in their mind, is atonement for their guilt. Letting go of the suffering would mean that their guilt remains unpunished, which they cannot accept.
In summary, this phrase describes a self-perpetuating cycle where guilt leads a person to embrace suffering or illness as a form of punishment, and they cling to this suffering as a way to atone for their guilt, even if it means ongoing pain and difficulty.
Excerpt from my book #Overcoming
Why did I called my book, Overcoming? It is because as human, we all are over-comers, if we chose to be and this is how my story begin.
Finding myself in a cycle of poor choices regarding relationship which stems from instability could have landed me into permanently cycle of abuse hadn't it been for the grace of God. I had to own my weakness and find a strategy how to break that cycle, and that was when I identify and own my weakness and told myself I need to do something about it.
I was stuck in a relationship for more than two years, on the receiving end, until I decided that I am tired of that life-style and ready to be out.
So, one day, I came up with a strategy where I had to draw upon my faith, cried out to
God. Some maybe asking what God is she talking about. The true and living God who I
thought I know until I found myself in a dilemma.
I had to stretched my faith, this was because I needed saving grace, and I honestly telling you, I got answered within two days. Apparently, I shared my grief with a family member overseas, not knowing he contacted my father, but God touched that hard heart of my dad and he came to my rescue.
My dad offered me a bunch of keys to an apartment, and that was for my childhood home that I left from I was 17 years old. I did not stopped to think the repercussion of staying in the same community but wanting to get out of the turmoil I was facing.
During the time I was in that situation, I had a job as a kindergarten school teacher. Therefore, I could plan my next move without worrying about finance. I am aware that one of the problem for many women when they are in an environment where they are experiencing domestic abuse if lack of finance.
I went to see the apartment, It was newly build so it was not looking refined and I had to do some work in it to get it ready for habitation. I bought myself few sheets of sand papers, bucket of paints, got two of my girlfriends I could trust , knowing that they would not let out my secret and we prepared the place to move into, without my ex knowing.
I bought my furniture, a bed, dressing table, a cooker, the basic and one day, I decided that I have had enough and it was time to go.
That was not easy, because the very day when I decided to go, he tried everything to persuade me, saying " His friends going to laugh at him, as if I cared and he did not want the embarrassment.
I was so determined, that nothing he said could stopped me from leaving. All I wanted was peace and to protect not only my mental health but the children too. However, he offered to take me to where I was going, I allowed him. That was the worst mistake a woman can make, which is to let her ex take her to where she is going to feel safe. I came from the Caribbean, and those days I did not know of any place called Refuge for women fleeing abuse, we had to survived on our own. So in a nut shell, you do not have to suffer in silence in this country because there is help out there, so get yourself to safety and stop allowing yourself to become a punching bag. Don't get me wrong, I know it is not easy, as the saying goes "Its easier to say than done'', but take courage and speak to someone you can trust and run to safety. Ref: #www.nichecreation.co.uk if you need more encouragement, help and support.
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